Porn is love you can see.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
