On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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