Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
