we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
