I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
