Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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