It was confusing and full of hummus
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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