You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
