Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
