I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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