How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
