why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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