it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
