There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
