I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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