thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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