I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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