thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
