I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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