I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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