We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
