My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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