if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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