i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
