I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
