He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
