Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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