he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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