I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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