The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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