I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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