You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this just has baby written all over it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
