very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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