Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize