I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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