you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
