I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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