yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
