Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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