Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
