You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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