the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
