high people should be assigned attendants
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
