What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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