Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Bring me that man meat
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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