I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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