Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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