Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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