remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
