I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
