Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
