Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
