Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She needs sedatives and a leash
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize