A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
