My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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