So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
