So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
