During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
nutella sex= disaster
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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